I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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