Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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