Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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