Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She announced her abortion via fbk
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
