hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
