I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
