At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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