I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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