turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
