stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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