About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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