Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
