Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
