I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
