Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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