sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
