Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
