Can Purell be used as lube?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
