At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
