my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
