if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
