I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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