I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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