also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
