i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
