they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
