Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
operation harelip BJ is a go
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
