i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
