is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
