I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Randomize
