I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
