i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
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