I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
They have beer where we have blood.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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