maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
