Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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