Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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