Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
