i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
how does that bad decision feel?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
