True but thats because hes a fetus.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
