Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
