Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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