I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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