he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
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