Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
