I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Let's get the cat blown out
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
