So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
