I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
