Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
