What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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