They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
