why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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