Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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