shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
